; : Failure ,the semicolon to Success

Featured; : Failure ,the semicolon to Success

What is failure? As the old proverb goes failures are pillars of success.Only a person who tries to do something will taste success and in trying to do , one may encounter obstacles too.Our life is full of surprises.Grab these moments.These moments make the game of life interesting .

Swami Vivekananda,the great philosopher said,”Take risks in life.If you win,you can lead.If you lose,you can guide”.

The fear of failure should not stop us from doing new things.It is a ladder to success and once you get,happiness comes your way.

Failure often begins at birth.You are female.That’s enough.You are not wanted.You have failed your family.Oops!Wrong gender.Now what?.

I guess this is the story of every Indian household.Thankfully it was not in my case.I had a liberal upbringing.

My failures began since the day I started going to school.I was not very good at sums.My teacher who was of a grandmother’s age would beat me very harsh and slap me every time I’d make mistakes and flunked.At such a tender age getting such a harsh punishment is the worst thing about your childhood.Whenever I flunked it was reported to my father and my brother who was very bright and they were called up.The meet was frightening.I was humiliated for my academic inadequacy.I felt miserable and depressed.My father always assured me that I will do much better next time.He was very very strict teacher but never scold me for my mistakes ever.But I cried a lot.Sometimes,I would fall sick.It’s a privilege for everyone to attend a school but I was always afraid to go to school.I was petrified everyday I went school.I failed,I failed,I failed.And the usual punishment was given.An English teacher routinely made jokes on my looks and complexion.She would call me ‘Blessed donkey’.I have no romantic notions of those old-aged teachers as heroic- they were as bored to teach us as we’d been to learn from them,our boredom were often competing.And one more thing I always performed very well in English.

To be human is to fail.Not just once.But several times.Often for the same stupid reasons.Nobody is perfect.I look at my own multiple failures and shrug.Yes,they hurt very bad.That bad,that I felt annihilated.Decimated for few weeks…even months.I didn’t allow myself to fall into a bottomless pit and never emerge.It has given me the courage to go on.Today I am studying chartered accountancy,one of the toughest course in the world.I was courageous enough to study on m own.I have never taken any special tuition in my life to clear exams.I was never indolent in self study.Doing CA requires patience.This courage has allowed me to write this piece and share failure with you.

That’s the thing about failure.Nobody looks at it as something to be shared.Everybody wants to be a part of success story.But failure?Oh no.You fly solo.I think it’s a huge mistake.When you fail is when you need someone.It is the period that is your darkest.When you feel most wretched.Most alone.Failure isolates you….sometimes from you.Failure feeds insecurity like nothing else.Keep moving forward just like Johnie Walker ad advises-keep moving.Don’t surrender.Don’t give up.

I knew I can never be defined by my failure at what I was expected by the world to succeed at.True success means to be free from public notion of failure.I believe examinations are not the real test of intelligence.You need marks just to save your skin.

There’s a story of Aesop’s.Aesop’s fox was a loser.He had tried hard to get to those delicious-looking grapes dangling seductively from a vine curled tenaciously around the topmost branch of a ridiculously tall tree.On failing to do so,he walked away describing them as sour.Loser!

By declaring it sour,the fox moved on to a happy life.Would we rather he spends the rest of his life in regret?Feeling anger.Feeling shame.Feeling cheated.Going on and on about those privileged monkeys can always get access to those delicious-looking grapes that dangle seductively from vines that curl around the topmost branches of tall trees.Must he transform his pain into poetry,and become a courtier of the literary circuit?Must he transform his longings into art?
Or must he just reframe the situation,see himself as nature’s lucky one,who escaped eating horribly sour grapes?Maybe even poisonous ones?

Who decides if grapes are actually sweet or sour?The ones who eat it,or the one’s who don’t.Who is this Aesop who judges the fox who is determined to unleash his imagination to be happy?Why do we let other people determine the parameters of what is success and what is not?Isn’t that the greatest failure:the wilful letting go of our ability to write our biography on our terms,believing that every decision taken is a march towards success?

It all depends on what we make our life today.If we are miserable,then yes,all the admissions we did not get,those boyfriends we did not meet,those jobs we did not find ate the sweet grapes that went to the lucky others.But if we are happy with what w have today,then we can have a sigh of relief not get those admissions/boyfriends/jobs.Who knows what sour taste they would have left in our mouth.
Humans have the gift of imagination.We use it to imagine the parameters of success and hence failures.Imagination also enables us to reject these parameters and create those that make us happy.

Admitting one’s failures is not easy and  requires courage.Nevertheless once we are strong enough to admit our failures,half the battle is won.We have to embrace failure in order to be successful in life.

Famous people had their share of failure in order to reach their destination.For example,Thomas Alva Edison,who invented the light bulb,had 1000 failed trials before he succeeded.When asked about the discovery Edison said”The light bulb was an invention with 1000 step

Dusky Beauty

FeaturedDusky Beauty

 


She had the kind of beauty,

that was easily overlooked.
She didn’t flaunt it,
she didn’t put a lot of work into
making it happen.

On her lips, she always carried
a joyful gesture,a curvy thing.
She speaks less,listen more
And veil,a lot more things within.

A dusky girl with her eyes awake,
looks more real and less fake,
Looks as if,she won’t have a clue.

Girls flaunt their beauty,
She flaunts her innocence.
Girls seek sense of humour,
She presents her humorous sense.

A nice human being
A friend so worthy,
A humble girl,she is
Less sensitive and more sturdy.

Happiness in Smile

FeaturedHappiness in Smile

Peace begins with a smile-Mother Teresa.

A quick tip to trick your brain thinking you are happy.

Scientists have known for a long time that emotions are accompanied by numerous changes in the body,from elevation in the heart wall to flexion of zygomatic major muscle(i.e smiling).Your brain actually pays attention to what your body is doing,and it affects your emotions.This was first called the “facial feedback hypothesis”,but it applies to more then just muscles of the face.

Smile.Seriously,just do it.Most people think that we smile because we are happy;we are happy because we smile.

One of the best experiments to demonstrated this came from the late ’80’s.The researchers did not want to influence the results by telling subjects that the study was about emotion,so they devised an ingenious way to get the subjects to flex their muscles of their face without knowing why.They had subjects hold a pencil in one of three ways.The first group had the pencil widthwise between their teeth,forcing a smile.The second group held the pencil on their lips lengthwise,which means they couldn’t smile and were actually making a kind of frown.The control group held the pencil in their hand.Then the subjects looked at some cartoons,and rated how funny they were.The “smile” group gave the cartoons much higher “funny” ratings than the ” frown” group,while the control group was somewhere in the middle.

Facial feedbacks work because the brain senses the flexion of certain facial muscles (like the zygomatic major,which is required to smile) and iterprets it as “Oh, I must be happy about something”.Similarly,if that muscle isn’t flexed then your brain thinks,”Oh,I must not be happy”.

In addition to the direct neural feedback,in the real world you also get the added advantage of social feedback.Smiles are infectious.So even if you don’t feel much happier,the people around you are likely to smile,and that can improve your mood as well.

Lastly,if you can workup the energy to actually smile,you’ll probably have an even bigger benefit.While the zygomatic major controls the corners of your mouth,there is a muscle at the corner of your eyes called the obicularis oculu that only flexes when you are actually smiling.So If you really want to get the biggest facial feedback benefit,find something to laugh about.That will likely to generate a true smile.This is also a great tip for becoming more photogenic(Trust me,I mean look at me in the above pic).

So next time you want to improve your mood a little,all you have to do is flex your zygomatic muscles to raise the corners of your mouth.Although,if you want to win Miss Universe Title you’ll have to flex those obicularis oculi.

Keep smiling Always

Self Acceptance

FeaturedSelf Acceptance

Hello, I am new to WordPress and this is my first blog.In this short article I have penned down my thoughts.When heads surrender to hearts,thoughts give way to emotions and emotions to silence.The silence in which every sound stands out not as a symbol but the thing itself.I would like to discuss something very important which I have been a victim of.The importance of self acceptance and how you can improve yourself by accepting who you are.

Why self-acceptance is so important?

It is so important because if you do not accept yourself for who you really are you will create a number of problems in life.Some of these problems are internal affecting you personally and some will affect how others treat you.
Let’s quickly look at some of these problems:

#Low Self esteem:Denying who you are or being blind to what you really want means you may suffer from low self esteem.

#Living a lie:If you do not accept yourself you may push yourself to what you are not and the result is a false life.

#Unhappiness:you will not be enjoying your life as you are ignoring your inner voice and your heart.

#Becoming a victim:If you do not accept yourself you may believe what others tell you and you may become a victim.

#No trust in yourself:Low self esteem can follow you if you are. Unsure of who you are and what you want.

What happens when you accept yourself for who you are?

Self acceptance means you understand who you are and where your strengths and weaknesses lie.You know what you want.This will allow you to be comfortable with your place in the world.If you can build self confidence you can live your life free of self criticism and you can begin to face the challenges and succeed.

If you accept yourself you value yourself and tell people to respect who you are.You will be able to accept others as well and not demand that they try to reach your standard.

Self acceptance means being happy with who you are and what you are.But this does not mean that you give up hopes of any changes or improvement.

Happy Reading and Stay blessed!

The dying art of having meaningful conversation

We’ve all read the famous Stephen Covey quote,”Most people do not listen with the intent to understand;they listen with the intent to reply”,on our social media newsfeed and wondered how true it is,when we relate it to our own set of experiences.Yet somewhere it is us,who fail to indulge in a ‘good’ conversation precisely because of the lack of listening.
In this era of WhatsApp statuses,Facebook feeds and Snapchat stories,we all want to be heard.Yet surprisingly we do not want to listen.Today real discussions and discourses have become difficult.We are so immersed in our own sorrows that listening to other people’s problems,stories or opinions is f little importance to us.In the middle of a conversation,people start equating people’s sorrow with their own.Even though it is likely that you have been hit with a similar experience,the speaker’s insight could have something to offer.It could be a different perspective,a angle,a different justification or maybe a twist in the plot.We need to understand that experiences are different for everyone.It is natural to get distracted in the middle of a conversation because thought strikes in at the most random of all occasions.It is important to brush these thoughts aside to be in the conversation because,you cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.So listen,with full attention.

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